Kate Middleton went there once when she was trying to make Wills realise he shouldn’t have dumped her, demonstrating her skating prowess through the medium of glittery hot pants and high gloss tights. It’s an actual roller disco like something from back in the, you know, retro times, with a bar, big skating arenas, lots of neon and is the highlight of the Vauxhall Saturday night scene.
The bar is well stocked and only the normal level of London club expensive. But let’s be honest, whoever decided combining drunk people on wheels with a source of more alcohol hadn’t really thought it through, so unless you are highly skilled, expect most of your drink to end up on the floor.
There are some really skilled people there, so only hit the back room if you’ve got mad skills. The front room has ‘teachers’ and at least one first aider per three people so it’s fine for beginners. If you really can’t stay upright (I took knocking myself out completely as a sign) there’s no judgement for removing the skates after a while and just dancing to the excellent tunes.
It is one of the absolute best things that you can do in London. Make sure you embrace some ridiculous eighties rave attire, they provide the skates and let the wheels do the rest
Go there if….
A member of the royal family just dumped you, or you want an amazing and slightly alternative night out and you have a big group of friends who will embrace wristbands and leg warmers with minimal persuasion.
Don’t go there if…
You’ve got a broken leg or your idea of a perfect Saturday night is the old man pub on the corner and a pint of Guinness.
If you’re pretending to have been there don’t forget to mention…
The likelihood of splitting your trousers open is high so don’t wear anything designer. Also I’d recommend removal of skates for trips to the bathroom.
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